you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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