I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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