my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
