this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Drunk is not a location!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
