I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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