Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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