remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize