dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
