the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
