yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
