I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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