They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
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