so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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