If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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