I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
