you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
