she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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