New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
