People with herpes should wear stickers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
