i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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