you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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