after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize