Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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