I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
