if only i could text you this smell
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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