Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
