There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
