he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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