im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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