I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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