I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize