yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
