we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
