VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
