The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
