Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
