Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it was like his penis was on wheels.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
