we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
