If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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