i need an iv and a liver transplant
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
