i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
