glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
