Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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