Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
