okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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