would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I could fuck to npr.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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