I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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