Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
