This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
