never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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