Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
