I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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