Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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