Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
