Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
